Fan Fic Contest - Are you the best writer?

[ryguy266]

Nope. The general rule is just "make a good faith effort." It was a lot easier when we were all kids, but now submitting short stories in an online forum takes back seat priority to...adulting so we just wait for all submissions to come in and then judge.

Admittedly, the pressure is kinda on you since you're the last one to throw your hat in the ring.

Fair enough! Fwiw I should have something submitted within days/weeks, not months, if that helps.

 

[Elven Lord]

Nope. The general rule is just "make a good faith effort." It was a lot easier when we were all kids, but now submitting short stories in an online forum takes back seat priority to...adulting so we just wait for all submissions to come in and then judge.

Admittedly, the pressure is kinda on you since you're the last one to throw your hat in the ring.

Fair enough! Fwiw I should have something submitted within days/weeks, not months, if that helps.

You're good man. We just care about a good contest.

 

[TGRF]

Nope. The general rule is just "make a good faith effort." It was a lot easier when we were all kids, but now submitting short stories in an online forum takes back seat priority to...adulting so we just wait for all submissions to come in and then judge.

Admittedly, the pressure is kinda on you since you're the last one to throw your hat in the ring.

Fair enough! Fwiw I should have something submitted within days/weeks, not months, if that helps.

You're good man. We just care about a good contest.

Indeed; this'll be the first time we've had four entries in I can't even remember how long.

~TGRF.

 

[Tornado]

Hmmm may have to flesh and blood mine out a bit more...

 

[TGRF]

Hmmm may have to flesh and blood mine out a bit more...

No entries have been read yet, so you are free to do that for now. Just give me a holler if Ryguy posts and you still need to edit.

~TGRF.

 

[TheAverageFan]

I'll edit mine then too. A small change only—I kinda forgot that one of the included Heroscape characters famously has an eye patch.

~TAF

 

[ryguy266]

I'm finished! This contest lined up nicely with the NGC Unit Design Contest, so I already had a new design ready to go, and it felt worthwhile to flesh out the backstory. For reference, the unit card and description is here.

I've taken the trouble of formatting it for Heroscapers since I will probably add it to the growing catalogue of Myths of Valhalla after the contest.

Brilliance

Spoiler Alert!

Act 1: Brilliance​

Xavix strode into the office, his chest forward, his thin arms dangling by his side. The hulking mass behind the sleek, wide desk shifted and stood, offering a hand.

Xavix gripped his palm, his small hand buried in the massive paw of his superior. “Zaeus, good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Zaeus returned the sentiment, his tone setting Xavix on edge. They only called him up in person to Sentry 6 when something important happened. And the edge in Zaeus’ voice didn’t hold the air of a promotion.

Not that there was much higher to go. Prime Command had seen his genius early, naming him Director for the Helix National Lab only two years ago. The news had made headlines across Marr, the youngest Director ever, younger than most employees.

“I have some bad news,” Zaeus said, returning to his desk, as if the surface would provide protection from the uncomfortable conversation. “It felt only right to have you here in person.”

Xavix’s fur bristled. “I can handle some bad news.”

“I would expect so. You may have heard that the skirmishes along the borders of Vacela are becoming more common. And last cycle there were two attacks along the Jabbin coast. The death toll has climbed into the hundreds, with missing persons…Prime Command sees a growing problem, one we still don’t understand. The creatures seem to come from the Wilds themselves. And this Marro threat is now a priority.”

Xavix stared at Zaeus as he asked a question already answered in his head.

“What are you saying?”

“We’re cutting funding to all graviton studies until further notice. Effective imm—”

“You can’t!”

Xavix slammed his fist into the desk. “We are on pace with the grant expectations, the committee said we had more time!”

“Every agency answers to Prime Command, including us. I’m sorry, Xavix. This decision was out of my hands.”

Xavix shuddered, the breaths forced as his mind raced to every possible outcome. They were so close to initial testing. Cycles, maybe days. His life’s work, his only passion, every achievement he’d ever made stripped away in the final stretch.

“Starting now, all programs will be directed toward defense applications,"

Zaeus continued, his voice fading. Xavix gripped his chair as if it would keep him anchored to the ground, keep him grounded in a world that still respected him, that still understood the value of science, that still cared to reward brilliant science and the lives of those dedicated to it. Galaxies away, Zaeus droned on.

“I know it will be difficult, but hiring will need to be scaled up. Prime Command wants to stop…”

“…Stop 42.”

Xavix blinked. The hydrotrain slowed, water skewing along the river as the lush mountains cast shadows over the ripples.

He shook his head, sidestepping a couple with fingers interlaced, and walked onto the exit platform and into the humid air. Small jets moved the platform from the closing doors to the riverbank where the lifts waited.

A wide stream of primadons moved toward entrances, stepping onto the lifts. Grey lights lit up when the lift was full, shooting up the side of the mountain toward various parts of the city. Xavix filed into the line for his neighborhood, swatting away the bugs from the river. His stomach gurgled, aching for a hot bamboo fry. And by the time he’d reached his door, his heart ached for home.

The door slid open, and a dark form barreled through the opening. Xavix shouted as it slammed into him, hurling them both into the street. He held up his hands, protecting his face from the onslaught.

“Enough, enough!” he laughed.

The black jaguar paused the attempts to lick his face, settling instead for the fur on his hands.

“I missed you too,” he said, throwing his arms around Layla. The purring started immediately, rumbling so deep and loud he thought their happiness might shatter his windows. He scratched her ears, letting her sniff the strange smells of hydrotrain travel.

“I know, I’ve been away for too long. Two days just to…”

He trailed off. If he didn’t speak it, maybe it wouldn’t happen. Maybe he’d return to work tomorrow and Cayde would still be working on that tricky loop smoothing issue. Janus would greet him at the door, and Paula would remind him that the quarter bolts were stripped and they’d need to strengthen the klystrons.

“They want to make us government drones,” Xavix said, and Layla’s ears flattened. She pressed her sleek, black nose to his chin, pushing against it and rubbing her fur against his.

“Why even make me a Director if they wouldn’t give me any say?”

He sighed as Layla rolled over, her maw resting on his lap, the contents of his briefcase scattered underneath her fur.

“You’re lucky. You never have any problems.”

Layla lifted her head, shooting him an indignant look, or as offended as she could appear with no discernable brows.

“You’re right, I apologize. Sometimes your food bowl is empty.”

Satisfied, Layla returned her head to his lap.

“Come on, we can’t stay out here on the street,” he said, smiling.

With great effort, Xavix pushed the big cat off him and collected his papers. Layla protested by relaxing, making it as difficult as possible to lift her to her feet. She weighed more than him, and was nearly as tall, although he had many years to grow to his full stature. The jaguars of Marr were popular pets, as loving and intelligent as they came. Cayde liked to joke that the only thing that stopped the jaguars becoming the dominant species on Marr, instead of primadons, was the lack of opposable thumbs. Layla had entered his life as a young lab assistant when he’d found her abandoned and starving on a curb on his way home from work. Feeding the growing beast on an assistant’s salary had been difficult, but she’d rewarded him by abating the loneliness gnawing at the edges of his life. She’d been by his side for every step of his career and visited Helix so often that she had her own, personalized badge: “Assistant Director Layla”, a joke that Assistant Director Brein found delightful.

As her powerful tail curled around his legs, his mind wandered to the papers in his fingers.

“Maybe it’s time to put that badge to use one more time,” he muttered. “What do you say?”

“I say yes.”

Janus’ voice echoed across the atrium as he pulled out the bag of treats he kept hidden just for visits from the Assistant Director of Helix. “You do need treats.”

“You leave for one night and it’s like she’ll never be fed again,” Xavix said, watching Layla chow down the mealy snacks tossed onto the lobby floor. The atrium was mostly empty, the employees gone for the evening, which meant only he and Janus witnessed the dirty look Layla shot him.

“She thought you were never coming back.”

“Don’t take her side!”

“Someone has to, you abandoned her.”

Layla butted her head against Janus’ legs. “More? You’ve already had so many.”

Her green eyes widened, employing her last stratagem: guilt.

“How can I resist that face?” Janus said, rubbing the sides of her face.

Layla smiled, her large teeth poking out from her muzzle as the guard made his affections known.

“So, what are you doing here?” Janus asked as Layla devoured the last of her treats. “How was your trip?”

“Wonderful,” Xavix said, doing his best to keep his lips from curling into a snarl. No reason to tell Janus anything, not if he did what he needed to tonight. When Prime Command saw the progress, they would know the power they could wield. They had to understand, but they needed to see. And for that, Helix needed one successful test. Just one.

“Layla, let’s go.”

The device was waiting for him in the lab. The accelerator alone was leagues beyond current capabilities. The scaling designs were already being implemented at Zero and Blighton Labs. But the real power was in the detector. The long tubing protruding from the complex, clunky contraption on the secure table focused the galactic magnetic field to produce photon-graviton oscillations. At least, that was the theory. The math was sound, but the experimental procedure had taken years. Zaeus’ cutting edge unified magnetic field theories were brand-new in the timescale of science, and the applications to gravitational mechanics were also young—and Xavix’s brainchild.

“No more waiting, Layla. We’re making this work. Tonight.”

Xavix swiped his hand over the desk. Bright, holographic light popped up, already running the subroutines to boot up the detector. His fingers danced across the screens as the startup protocols powered up the lab. Cooling systems activated while the magnetic focal lenses directed forces through the tubing to a target point a hundred meters away.

“Ready?” Xavix asked. From the floor, Layla flicked her ears with her usual “Don’t interrupt my nap” signal.

Xavix took a deep breath. This wasn’t the first time they’d turned it on. Maybe the hundredth, maybe the thousandth. Every time, new parameters, new configurations, new components. They hadn’t run this one yet. But it would be the one. They’d solved every new problem, every complication. The machine glowed, humming with power. This was his moment. This was where history would change forever.

He pressed his thumb to the circle on the screen.

Layla let out a long exhale, just audible over the hum of the detector.

Xavix ran his fingers through his fur. Maybe he was missing something, maybe a piece was off. Did Cayde ever replace the stripped quarter bolts?

He sighed and stepped away from the screen, peering into the inner workings of the detector. The circuitry was in place, the system lights correct. No alerts from the monitor, but no warnings either.

His hand still training along the backing of the detector, he reached down to pet Layla. The computers flashed.

He screamed as his arm jerked toward the device. The force felt like it would tear the skin from his body as every molecule in him was ripped forward. Blinding light filled the lab, consuming him until nothing remained.

 

Act 2: Desperation​

Xavix crashed onto dark cobblestone. He screamed as the pain wracked his body, feeling as if every atom in his arm had been separated one by one. Machinery crashed down around him, and with his good arm he pulled Layla close, shielding her from the debris. She thrashed around, howling as the last of the clattering fade.

A harsh, growling voice worked its way through the ringing in Xavix’ ears. “Welcome, warrior. My name is Laglor. You have been summoned to this place for a reason. I’m sure you have many questions, and I…”

Xavix sat up, letting the pieces of the detector fall away. He was in a primitive village square. Small cottages lined the edges, adorned with quaint decorations. A towering primadon stood over him, keeping his distance from the snarling black jaguar. And as their eyes locked, an astonished look swept over the other primadon.

“Xavix?”

“What are you doing in my…in my…lab…”

The smaller ape trailed off, diagnosing his situation. He wasn’t in another his lab, or any other. He was outside, in a gloomy town with no high jungle in sight. Had he been teleported? No, they were still so far from that technology. Maybe with his graviton equipment…

He stared at the battered device at his feet. The device—it had worked. He remembered the alert from the computers, just before the pain.

“Am I dead?”

“No. You’re safe. But you were brought here with a purpose. Although what purpose that is I can’t imagine.”

Xavix’s nostrils flared. His mind ran through every possibility at once. It was a hallucination. A dream. The afterlife. A mental break.

A wet nose pushed on his cheek. Layla’s hot breath tethered him to the stone, and he buried his face in her neck. She was here, and she was real. And that meant this place was real.

“You are on a planet named Valhalla,” Laglor said, continuing his practiced speech out of obligation. “Our general, Vydar, has spared your death and brought you here using his immense power. We need your help to win this war. But Xavix…what use has he for you?”

“Laglor…how do you know who I am?”

“It’s best not to get into it now.”

Xavix’s long teeth bit into his mouth as the searing pain wracked his arm.

“Soldier, are you injured?”

“I’m no soldier,” Xavix croaked.

“Perhaps not before,” Laglor said. “Take him to the hospital.”

Other primadons emerged from the shadows in the alley. Darts shot from their weapons, piercing Layla’s side. She swiped at the closest one, before falling to the stone.

“Layla!”

Xavix lunged for them. Another spasm of pain brought him to his knees and darkness to the edge of his vision. He reached down for one more dart in his chest, before the darkness filled his sight.

He awoke in a small, scratchy bed inside a large gathering hall. The rafters stretched in either direction over the curtains draped on both sides of him. Another building in the strange village. He sat up, a cast on his arm restricting his movement. The pain was still there but lessened by the numbing bliss of an agent in his system.

“It will take time to heal,” Laglor said, stepping into view from behind the curtains. “It’s an old design, but the best we can do given the circumstances.”

A creature walked past, a horrible, furless primadon with flesh on every part of its body. Laglor watched the thing move by them, gauging Xavix’s reaction.

“What the hell were those?”

“They’re called humans. Quite common on Valhalla these days. You’ll get used to the sight of them eventually.”

Xavix doubted it. He doubted everything this primadon was saying.

“Another planet, huh? Tell me more about that.” His eyes darted around the makeshift hospital room, analyzing every piece of information available while ignoring the throbbing protest of his arm.

“Yes. I’m sure it’s a lot to take in. There are only a few inhabited planets in the universe, and they’re so far apart that they’ll never find each other, no matter how advanced they get. But one connects them all, and it’s this one. Our leader, Vydar, can bring warriors to this planet moments before their death. I’m sorry you were injured before Vydar could complete the process; this has never happened before.”

“What does Vydar need warriors for?”

“The same thing every Valkyrie general needs warriors for: control of the wellspring water.”

This brought Xavix’s attention back to the conversation.

“Wellspring water?”

“It gives Vydar his power. With the wellspring, he can create tunnels between worlds, draw in his army just before their deaths. The humans call it magic, but we know it must be some form of advanced—”

“Science,” Xavix finished. “So he brought us here against our will.”

“He gave us a second chance.”

“A convenient excuse.”

“For someone supposedly brilliant, you sure don’t know your way around a vine,” Laglor sighed. “Why do you think you were summoned here?”

Xavix tilted his head, discreetly flexing his arm in the cast. “What do you know?”

Laglor snorted. “We’re not supposed to talk about this. Ever. But given you were a part of the Prime Command, technically…Vydar doesn’t just summon across space. At distances that great, space and time are one and the same. I recognized you from the news, ten years before I was summoned. You disappeared in the freak accident that leveled most of your hometown.”

Again Xavix’s mind whirred, but this time the gears seemed stuck.

“In our time, you disappeared long before I was brought here. But I have kept Vydar’s citizens safe for two years, and I intend to—”

“What accident?” Xavix forced out.

Laglor picked at the fur on his forehead before answering. “Your lab was the origin for a devastating unnatural disaster. It was played as an earthquake for the population, but Prime Command knew. It was your experiment, your gravitation detector. The graviton burst originated from Helix. It killed a dozen in the initial gravitational warp, and hundreds more in the ensuing collapse of the mountainside. You were the only body never identified. Those close to the lab had been stretched into a paste. Forensics assumed you had been pulled into a ball of flesh so small and dense they’d never find it in the rubble.”

Sweat broke out on Xavix’s brow. “No, the experiment was totally safe. It was detection, not manipulation.”

The pity on Laglor’s face further agitated him.

“You’re lying. How is this possible?”

“Your weapon was pulled in with you—”

“It’s not a weapon!”

“Regardless, when you’re healed, you can look into repairing the device.”

“Where’s Layla?”

“The jaguar? She is safe at a shelter next door. She will be cared for until you are at a full recovery.”

“I’m fine,” Xavix lied, ignoring the spasms arcing from his shoulder to his wrist and pointing to an empty space behind Laglor. “But he isn’t.”

Laglor turned to follow his eyes, and Xavix rolled from the bed and dove under the curtain. Laglor’s huge mitts snatched at him, entangling himself in the curtain. Xavix kicked the stand over, pinning down the massive gorilla under the sea of cloth.

“Somebody stop him!” Laglor boomed, even as Xavix jogged past the human. To his left and right, strange and hideous creatures lay in the beds. More of the flesh monsters, but some metallic fiends, a squirming black, winged creature, and even a wisp of smoke. He barged out of the wartime hospital and into the street, calling for Layla. His eyes snapped to the hut adjacent to the village hall. The shelter.

He darted inside just as Laglor charged into the street. Inside, two lanky humans relaxed against a table while Layla cowered in a cage.

“Let her out, you animals,” Xavix growled.

The humans’ hands slipped to their weapons. “No way, it’s too dangerous. It needs to be contained.”

“That’s enough!”

Laglor’s commanding voice snapped the humans to attention. Xavix tensed as Laglor’s hand closed over his good shoulder.

“The black jaguar is a noble creature, worthy of respect. She will not harm you if Xavix commands. And Xavix does command, doesn’t he?”

A low growl floated from Layla’s cage.

“Well?”

“I’m thinking about it.”

The massive, hairy hand squeezed hard, and Xavix gasped. “Yes, they’ll be safe! Layla will not harm anyone while she is with me.”

“Release her.”

The closest human unlocked her cage with trembling fingers. She slunk out of the cage, putting each paw forward as if she were testing the temperature of the floor. Her ears flicked toward the human, who yelped and dropped the key ring. She trotted over to Xavix with a mischievous glint in her eyes. It faded to concern as he pet her with one hand.

“It will heal. I’m just glad you’re safe.”

“Since you seem healthy enough to run around,” Laglor said, “I will take you to your commanding officer.”

“Commanding officer? I’m no soldier.”

“In these times, everyone is.”

They followed Laglor to a cozy habitation on the outskirts of the village, or as cozy as it could be with the dark, ever-gray skies. The human agents tagged along at Laglor’s orders. Their black suits flickered into the shadows, the droplets from the sky sliding off as if they weren’t there.

“You’ll be rooming in here with our lead scientists. You may be familiar with one of them.”

He knocked on the oddly tall door. A rough voice answered, familiar indeed.

A powerful, silver-haired primadon opened the door and gasped.

“Xavix?”

“Zaeus. It’s good to see you.”

“We thought…when you never showed…Vydar works in mysterious ways,” Zaeus said, shaking his head. Xavix studied his face. The burden of age and responsibility had both taken their toll on the academic. His fur was thinner, hair silver, worry lines on his nose and brow.

“I spoke to you the day before the accident. It haunted me, all these years. Wished I could have said something before you left, I only I could have known.”

“It wasn’t an accident. The device worked.”

“Yes, we assumed. But to be so unstable…”

“I activated it.”

“What?”

“You shut me down, do you remember? You cut our funding. I knew if you could see the result of our work, we could keep the project—my life’s work—intact.”

Zaeus’ face churned as memories surfaces, memories held from more than a decade ago.

“That wasn’t my decision. I…I thought you took it well…”

“Enough,” Laglor said. “You’re not here to dig up old wounds. Zaeus has changed this war for us. Your death was not his responsibility. Especially not here in Valhalla.”

“Then what am I here for?”

“You’re here to work,” Laglor said. “Zaeus and Kursus are working on battle suits for our primadon troops. Two years later and we still only have one working prototype.”

“Weapons. You want me to build weapons.”

The laughter started, slow at first, building up to an uncontrollable cackle.

“You want me to build weapons! Yesterday, you asked me to build weapons. And today, on a different planet, you’re asking me to build weapons.”

The laughter overtook him until he couldn’t speak. Laglor and Zaeus waited for the episode to subside.

“Yes. This war has repercussions in every galaxy, whether they know it or not. You have a brilliant mind, Xavix. No one denies that. We need your innovation to gain an edge.”

They guided him into the home, which contained a makeshift workspace filled with components. Another shorter, but still powerful primadon waved to them from the station.

“Xavix! You’re here. I’ve got your invention all right here. The smoking scrap of it, anyway. I’m a huge fan! Youngest national lab director in history. You inspired me to become a scientist. Your work was incredible, right up until you…”

“Died.”

Kursus nodded, the excitement shining through his goggles.

“Spectacularly.”

“The graviton technology is not our concern anymore,” Zaeus said. “But I believe Xavix may give us the angle we need to push another prototype out into Valhalla.”

“Look at you,” Xavix said. “Your work unifying quantum shifts with gravitational field theory was groundbreaking. And now you sit, constructing a gun suit?”

He gestured to the bulky framework mounted on a workbench.

“This suit contains the means to utilize the magnetic poles of Valhalla to a devastating effect. We need more like if we are to end this war early and save lives.”

“We’re not soldiers, Zaeus.”

“And you never will be if you don’t get some rest,” Laglor interrupted.

“There’s a spare room upstairs. You’ll be staying here for now. Not much room left in the village with the new recruits. And there’s a small shed out back for the jaguar.”

“Layla stays with me.”

“Fine. I’ll be checking in every day a while. I expect you to adjust faster than most, and I expect results faster than that. Understood?”

Xavix eyed the rubble of his graviton detector. They wanted results? Yes, they would see results.

The next few weeks were a blur of bland food, dull tools, and a constant drizzle from the skies. Most of his time was spent either learning about the primitive tools provided by other summons or the native Valhallans themselves or delving into the newest developments of the ARK-2110 and its accompanying battle suit.

Each day, Xavix was allowed time to spend how he wished as he adjusted to this new world, and most of that was spent exploring with Layla, learning all he could about the planet’s history and culture from the locals. The village’s kyrie children liked to play a game with her to see how low they could hover with their wings before she could snag their cloth robes in her teeth and drag them to the ground, laughing.

And in the brief moments of silence, when Layla was napping by the fireplace and Zaeus and Kursus were out giving reports, beautiful puzzle pieces fit themselves together.

The graviton detector had worked. But it hadn’t just detected; it had affected. A graviton burst, as Zaeus had mentioned, had come out of the machine, a stream of particles like a hydrotrain pileup. Devastating and uncontrollable for the device. The cooling system had failed, shutting down the device and stopping the radius of devastation from consuming Marr itself. They’d been summoned just as the device malfunctioned, which was why Vydar had waited to pull them to Valhalla.

And the nature of his summoning, this mysterious wellspring water. Zaeus and Kursus had studied it extensively and gained no insight into its mechanical properties. Knowledge of its thermodynamic behavior was entirely qualitative. They knew it stayed exceptionally cool, and in fact could not be heated. Due to the danger to the mind and the immense power it held, the vials stayed in storage.

Slowly, secretly, tirelessly, he repaired the graviton detector, swapping out components where needed. Every other component had been perfect, over tuned, even. The integrity of the other parts was secondary if the wellspring water could contain the energy from the burst.

And a burst it would be. Zaeus had advanced his field theory even further in the ten years after Xavix’s disappearance from Marr. The literature was so sound and practical that it would have quartered the time to build the detector in the first place. The ARK-2100 seemed designed by the cosmos to control the blast. The stream of gravitons would be controllable…weaponizable.

He toiled on the machine, ignoring the warnings from Zaeus and Kursus. But their reprimands were hollow; he was pushing the ARK-2100 further than it ever was. There was even talk about Soulborg integration. As long as he did the work, they couldn’t stop him. Their war hinged on it.

Rumors ran rampant of an orc force approaching the village. A large force slicing through the heart of Vydar’s territory with the sole aim of reaching the origin of his summons was marching closer every day, and Laglor’s briefings grew more frequent. A small contingent of Jandar’s forces had moved to intercept it, but they were doomed without the ARK suit. Despite being the command center for all of Vydar’s forces, only an elite force remained to guard the village. They controlled the pulse of all activity, served as protection for the doctors and engineers, and ran intelligence operations throughout Valhalla. And they would be crushed by the orc horde. Each day outside the window, more agents strode quickly, nervously. Laglor breathed down their necks, but they were still far from mass production of the suit. At best, they had a working copy.

And near the end of the cycle, hard to track under the endless clouds, Zaeus burst into the house, his eyes frantic.

“Get the suits ready,” he panted. “We’re under attack.”

“This isn’t enough,” Kursus said. “You’ll be killed without backup.”

“They’re going to reach the village. Jandar’s dispatch has formed a perimeter along the southern roads, but they won’t hold them off for long. If we can bottleneck them into the streets there, the ARK can fend them off while the agents get a foothold from the roofs.”

Xavix glanced at the detector.

“You’re too small to pilot the suit. Kursus, I need you.”

“I don’t need the suits.”

“Are you insane? Your detector isn’t ready yet.”

“Yes, it is. I tested it in the fields two nights ago.”

Zaeus’ jaw fell open into a snarl. “You could have saved these orcs a lot of trouble.”

“But I didn’t. It works. Perfectly. I just need more wellspring water for coolant.”

“No. You’re staying here. Defend the house at all costs.”

“I am going to defend the house,” Xavix said, pulling at the straps he’d installed after the field test. The long barrel swung around in the workstation, causing Kursus to duck. Zaeus grabbed the aperture and held it steady.

“I can’t let you leave.”

“Layla disagrees.”

Xavix whistled, and faint footsteps on the stairs preceded a low growl.

Zaeus looked to his left, calculating his odds against the jaguar.

“We can’t afford to lose a mind like yours.”

“If you don’t let me go, you’ll lose everything.”

Zaeus roared and stepped aside.

Xavix affixed a saddle, courtesy of the kyrie children, to Layla and swung onto her back. Strapped to his chest, the barrel of the graviton burst emitter bobbed above her head as they rocketed away from the house and through the village.

Shouts of terror and clashing weapons bounced from the cobblestones as Layla’s paws skittered on the smooth surface. Two sword-wielding orcs emerged from an alley only to get flattened by her speed and claws. They left the orc blood spilling onto the street, charging toward the battle.

They reached the main street leading out to the farmlands. Ranks of orc soldiers stretched out over the hillside, baying, eager for their chance at blood. Two dozen knights held the street, eviscerating any orcs attempting to vault the picket fences leading to the village. Soulborgs with shields stood in their ranks, supporting the defensive efforts. But their shields were worn, battered, and as Xavix arrived, another fell. In his peripherals, shadows merged onto the rooftops. The snipers would be too little, too late against the onslaught.

Xavix grabbed a syringe and injected the luminescent wellspring water into the cooling system. The device hummed, nearly singing with energy, as the sparkling blue water filtered through the device. He slipped his fingers around the aiming bars protruding from the sides and swiveled the barrel toward the orc front clashing with the desperate knights. A hail of bullets rained down from the rooftops behind him as the orcs let arrows fly. Screams hit him in waves as he flipped the caps off the handles and unlocked the safety protocols. And as the first of the orcs broke through, he pulled the triggers, wondering what happened if you died in Valhalla.

The orcs pushing their brethren through the knights collapsed, their bodies crumpling and folding as their bones crushed and their skin tore. Trees bent and stone swayed as blood sliced the air like field lines. Xavix lifted his thumbs, and the chaos stopped for one second, as if to let nature recover from its violation.

More orcs charged through the mangled bodies, an endless number following behind. They were furious, bloodthirsty, and mindless. Well. Xavix would demonstrate the true strength of brilliance.

Maniacal laughter echoed across the battlefield as soulborgs and orcs alike were thrown, tossed by the fierce gravitational waves pounding into them. They’d warned him it was too dangerous, too unstable, and yet, as Xavix looked at the fractured battlefield and crushed bodies, his satisfaction grew. Who could cast him aside now, who would exile an intellect so ravenous? And even in his glory, a stray arrow found its way into Layla’s heart.

Layla roared, the howl of death piercing Xavix’s ears. She thrashed, sending Xavix crashing to the cobblestones with the top-heavy graviton weapon.

“Layla!” he screamed, scrabbling at the straps on his chest. She whimpered, and he threw himself to her.

Blood pooled in the fur on her mouth. Panting, her eyes looked for him desperately, terrified, as he came into view. Pain, betrayal on her face, a fear of death and a question he could not explain in her final moments, a question on her face that drove him mad in a single instant, the last instant of his beloved Layla’s life.

“Layla, no, please! Please, Layla! We can get you back!”

Her nose pressed against his arm for the last time before she rested her head against the blood-soaked road, too weak to lift it anymore.

The syringes rattled as her shaky breaths stopped. He wiped the blur from his vision as he unhooked a syringe, the calculations running instinctually through his head. Layla had seconds to live. The water held power, if consumed. She was dying. It was meant for kyrie. He didn’t care.

He plunged the syringe into his arm and depressed it as the orcs broke through the barricade once more.

Act 3: Understanding​

Xavix screamed as agony a thousand magnitudes higher than the gravitational waves ripped through him. His mind split over and over, forcing his eyes open as Layla drew her last breath at his feet.

His arms expanded, thickening into powerful corded muscles. The device around him rusted, aging from the moisture in the air a span of a thousand years in an instant. It fused to his flesh as he grew, adding to his torment. But all the pain was desirable, bearable compared to the horror at his feet.

Layla’s body rotted, the fur falling away and the bones crumbling apart until there was nothing left. The orcs pushed through the barricade and struck him down, and Layla was dying again. The orcs killed him, and she died. More arrows flew, and she was gone.

The battle flowed around him, more possibilities, more outcomes, each vision growing longer than the last. And every time, he watched Layla die, alone. He couldn’t hold her, he couldn’t move, couldn’t even stand from the pain. Every muscle twitch, every bullet trajectory, every splash of a raindrop drove itself into his mind, further and further into insanity until there would be nothing left.

When the last of the visions faded, a thousand years later, he knelt. He kissed Layla’s head, holding her and letting his luminescent tears drip onto her fur. As the orcs slay the last of the knights, he stood, waiting for the right moment.

The first orc struck, swinging his blade in an arc Xavix had witnessed thousands upon thousands of times. The first step. He ducked and thrust out his arms, snapping its neck and using his body to bash the two closest orcs. His powerful arms thrust him toward the hillside, standing against the orc army. Only a mind like his could have survived the wellspring water. And he would avenge what was taken from him.

Each death unfolded exactly as the visions told, committed to memory by the smartest primadon alive. Some tried to ignore him to charge the village and were gunned down by the agents. The rest were picked apart over the hours, each vision wearing Xavix down, aging his body, driving the fragments of the graviton weapon further into his organs.

Only when the last orc fell against the setting sun, his skull crushed between Xavix’s palms, did he allow himself to collapse. His eyes closed, letting the death he’d experienced enough to welcome it overtake him, to lead him to a place unfathomable. His lips curled into a smile.

In the end, the wellspring water had given him exactly what he’d asked for.

 

[TGRF]

Right then. If anyone else needs to edit their stories, speak now. Otherwise I will likely read these tomorrow, and judge either tomorrow or the next day (depending on how long winded certain of us are).

~TGRF.

 

[Tornado]

I am good. Just cleaned it up a bit.

 

[TGRF]

I have read the stories and come to my decision. Honestly it was a tight race all around, and the designs were great. I've judged the stories based on two factors: the design and the story. Let's get to it (note that there are severe spoilers - if you intend to read the stories, do so first):

Third Place

Spoiler Alert!

Ryguy! I feel like we definitely don't see enough Primadons, so having one here was a good addition, especially in the company of Layla. The graviton gun was a cool idea, and I especially like the implementation on the card, although that of course can't contribute to the rating.

I thought characterization was strong in your story - probably the strongest of the four. You included some things - like interactions with Layla and Xavix going back to turn on the machine - which helped me visualize his character.

The only thing which brought your story down was a slow part in the middle, where Laglor explains about Valhalla when we the reader already know it. A minor thing, but I did find my interest threatening to slip there. It was short and interest picked back up soon after.

Second Place

Spoiler Alert!

TheAverageFan and Elven Lord! Honestly I couldn't call this one. You both had strengths and weaknesses which just balanced each other too closely for me to pick one over the other. Break-down below:

TAF:

Spoiler Alert!

I absolutely loved the idea of a carnivorous Valhalla. and the entire story felt like a setup for a cool premise (sequel please?). I did have a minor gripe - if the ground needs to feed, then why would it it reveal itself by attacking people? Wouldn't that just stop the summoning? You'd think it would do everything in it's power to keep the war going... which is actually also a cool thought. Just a minor thing.

The only weaknesses were some light characterization - I go back and forth on this, because Thormun definitely had some stuff going on, but it seemed to boil down to 'tired of the war'. Also I feel like some scenes could have been trimmed a bit - that one is up for debate, but I feel like some editing could have tightened the story a shade.

Oh and the twist! Definitely the best twist out of the four, I loved the way the words were misconstrued as 'hurry' when they were 'hungry'. The moment you said that everything fell into place and the realization hit me all at once. Great work there.

Elven Lord:

Spoiler Alert!

The magic system was great. I loved how it combined some familiar elements to make a new system, and the depiction of the realms as not all physical I especially liked. I enjoyed the idea of the energy and quantum realms - I'm into science stuff like that.

The magic system did make me curious for how it worked and how wizards accessed and used it, and sadly that wasn't really shown. There were no real rules or limitations set on the magic - it seemed like Ruddy could do whatever he wanted. When the climax came, I couldn't really get behind it because I knew Ruddy was just going to magic his way out. Finarion was painted as being 'more powerful' than Ruddy and a great threat, but with no concept of what wizards can and can't do there wasn't really any backing for that.

I will say that I enjoyed Ruddy's character the best out of all four entries though. He was the perfect blend of knowledgeable, funny, and witty, and was a genuine pleasure to read. I don't really know a ton about who he is, but neither do I really need to in this story. It worked.

First Place

Spoiler Alert!

Tornado! I'll be honest, I did not see this one coming. I had to look long and hard at my breakdown of the four stories before I realized what I was seeing. Other stories had more original designs, or better plots, or better characters.

Yours just worked.

The concept was interesting. Not as original as TAF or EL, but certainly a cool premise. And for such a short story, you did a surprisingly good job of showing how Kelda used her ability, and how the war shaped around it. I especially liked the poisonous fingernails - I would never have thought of that.

There was obviously very little in the way of plot or characters, but that worked for the short story, allowing the focus to sit squarely on the design. In the end, it was a fun read, an interesting concept, and great implementation. Well done.

It was a tough call, but there you have it. I'm happy to offer more in-detail thoughts on your entry if you want, but I warn you that I will be brutally honest. For now I await the next prompt!

~TGRF.

 

[Tornado]

Wow, thanks. That was basically the Dark Healer from my RPG in a nutshell and warp speed. Those are all actual abilities of the class.
The change in personality and growing insanities are also part of the gig.
The main thing I never mentioned was that if there was no victim, Kelda takes the damage but far worse than what she absorbed. In the end I did not want her going out quite like that, at least not on paper.
What I liked about Kelda is that she does have that possible negative part of her healing that really made her fit even better. Also to become a Dark Healer, one is usually good/lawful (no traditional alignments but a sliding scale of law/chaos) which also fit nicely.

 

[TheAverageFan]

Damn -1 title. At least now I don't need to hesitate so much about entering any prompt out of fear of the record.

To answer your plot question, the ground only needed to be fed with warfare up until a certain point when it could manifest properly: like a quota. At that point battle was no longer needed. I guess it wasn't clarified especially well. There was also an idea that the wellsprings would summon the dead from other worlds on their own to maintain self-feeding, hence the "die in battle = go to Valhalla" religious connection on Earth. But it was too late to add that in. The idea needed some more time in the oven to cook thoroughly.

You may prompt when ready, T.

~TAF

 

[TGRF]

Damn -1 title. At least now I don't need to hesitate so much about entering any prompt out of fear of the record.

~TAF

You've got a ways to go before you lose the title. Your average is 1.167. The next closest is 1.5.

~TGRF, eagerly awaiting the next prompt.

 

[Tornado]

I think I have it. Let me mull it a bit longer though and double check it has not been used before.

 

[TGRF]

I think I have it. Let me mull it a bit longer though and double check it has not been used before.

The Index has all the prompts listed under the 'Competitive' tab; that should make it easier to check. You'll need to scroll to the side a bit. Looking forward to it.

~TGRF.

 

[Tornado]

Ok, could not find that list so going to hope this has not been done before.

A Wellspring gets all cool and glow-y as a portal opens beneath its surface. From the pool emerges Valhalla's newest resident, you.

You have been summoned. Why? Perhaps your knowledge of Valhalla?
Who knows. Did you swallow some special water and is that now changing you on a molecular level? Maybe?

Feel free to use your knowledge of Scape to your advantage and take some stuff with you. You only have the knowledge you would have but perhaps the Wellspring has given you other abilities.

 

[TGRF]

Ok, could not find that list so going to hope this has not been done before.

A Wellspring gets all cool and glow-y as a portal opens beneath its surface. From the pool emerges Valhalla's newest resident, you.

You have been summoned. Why? Perhaps your knowledge of Valhalla?

Who knows. Did you swallow some special water and is that now changing you on a molecular level? Maybe?

Feel free to use your knowledge of Scape to your advantage and take some stuff with you. You only have the knowledge you would have but perhaps the Wellspring has given you other abilities.

Hmm. I tried to write this story once and it was terrible. Definitely an interesting prompt, Tornado, I'll see what springs to mind.

~TGRF.

 

[TheAverageFan]

I've already chronicled the adventures of the comically obvious self-insert gary-stu Avarius Fantus. I might be able to use that or come up with something similar, though if I do expect something short and very tongue-in-cheek.

~TAF, who has a prompt too good to lose now

 

[Elven Lord]

Damn -1 title. At least now I don't need to hesitate so much about entering any prompt out of fear of the record.

To answer your plot question, the ground only needed to be fed with warfare up until a certain point when it could manifest properly: like a quota. At that point battle was no longer needed. I guess it wasn't clarified especially well. There was also an idea that the wellsprings would summon the dead from other worlds on their own to maintain self-feeding, hence the "die in battle = go to Valhalla" religious connection on Earth. But it was too late to add that in. The idea needed some more time in the oven to cook thoroughly.

You may prompt when ready, T.

~TAF

The quota thing was clear to me, but they are 10k word prompts and TGRF had to read them all at once. It's understandable a few things slipped through the cracks. I guess we need to keep that in mind when writing for a judge vs the wider community.

@TGRF In the same line of reasoning, you're right, I probably should have made the story more about the design and the magic and how the magic is pulled from the realms etc etc...because it's you , Mr. Technical. The main conflict in the story was meant to be Ruddy's interaction with his master but I think I spent too much time on the design and not enough developing the relationship and tension between Ruddy and Finarion Starweaver.

Well judged as always. Looking forward to reading your submission for the next one.

 

[TGRF]

@TGRF In the same line of reasoning, you're right, I probably should have made the story more about the design and the magic and how the magic is pulled from the realms etc etc...because it's you , Mr. Technical. The main conflict in the story was meant to be Ruddy's interaction with his master but I think I spent too much time on the design and not enough developing the relationship and tension between Ruddy and Finarion Starweaver.

Well judged as always. Looking forward to reading your submission for the next one.

I did definitely like your magic system - it felt like something which could yield a really cool world. I did get the relationship between Ruddy and Finarion - though I'll agree it was light - it was really just me not knowing what was possible in the final duel. It was written as a big epic duel and pivotal moment for Ruddy, but because he'd just found a way to use magic to do whatever he wanted until that point, I had no context for how or why Finarion was more powerful and such a threat, and why Ruddy couldn't just turn him into a gnat or something.

~TGRF.

 

[Elven Lord]

@TGRF In the same line of reasoning, you're right, I probably should have made the story more about the design and the magic and how the magic is pulled from the realms etc etc...because it's you , Mr. Technical. The main conflict in the story was meant to be Ruddy's interaction with his master but I think I spent too much time on the design and not enough developing the relationship and tension between Ruddy and Finarion Starweaver.

Well judged as always. Looking forward to reading your submission for the next one.

I did definitely like your magic system - it felt like something which could yield a really cool world. I did get the relationship between Ruddy and Finarion - though I'll agree it was light - it was really just me not knowing what was possible in the final duel. It was written as a big epic duel and pivotal moment for Ruddy, but because he'd just found a way to use magic to do whatever he wanted until that point, I had no context for how or why Finarion was more powerful and such a threat, and why Ruddy couldn't just turn him into a gnat or something.

~TGRF.

Ohhh, that makes way more sense.

 

[TGRF]

Ooh, I have a great idea. It'll take some work to flesh out, but I'm really excited about this one. Bring the competition!

~TGRF.

 

[Tornado]

 

[Elven Lord]

Hey, so do the entries all have to be 100% separate from each other? There's just so much more I can do with the character from the last prompt, so I'm working on a draft for this prompt as a sequel to my last entry.

I will add a couple things.

1. They are different enough that you do not really need context from the first entry.

2. They are completely different stories with some shared characters and set in the same world.

 

[TGRF]

Hey, so do the entries all have to be 100% separate from each other? There's just so much more I can do with the character from the last prompt, so I'm working on a draft for this prompt as a sequel to my last entry.

I will add a couple things.

1. They are different enough that you do not really need context from the first entry.

2. They are completely different stories with some shared characters and set in the same world.

The only rule is that you don't submit something you've previously written. I've used past characters plenty. Tornado can of course provide additional limitations if he wants.

~TGRF.