Mysterious of my new job
Posted June 25th, 2012 at 06:02 PM by Sylvano the Wasabus
I have started a new job and it is a strange job. It actually shouldn’t be a strange job; it’s an office and you’d think offices were the same everywhere. I seem to have landed in a bizarre place- perhaps that’s why there was a vacancy there in a city where there are no jobs?
On my first day I was shown to my cubical and abandoned. Really. No one came to tell me what to do; I was assigned no jobs or training. Fortunately for me I am never bored so I began writing on the computer. Eventually, in the afternoon, someone noticed me and gave me some menial job which took twelve minutes. The whole first week was like that.
But I am a fool, you know. Perhaps I should have been happy with that. Isn’t that what I’ve always wanted, free time? But no, I was frustrated- I have this ridiculous need to be of use.
Well as it turned out I did not have to wait long for something to do. On Tuesday I was asked to fill in for the receptionist and do my job too- this is to be a regular thing. The receptionist, I think has some sort of terrific allergic disease- whenever she comes in to work it makes her ill and she must leave after an hour or two. I guess that’s okay with everyone. I don’t even mind because then I can sort mail, answer the phone and feel mildly useful.
On that first Thursday I almost quit. The only thing that kept me there was the idea of hunger and losing my house. While filling in for the receptionist, I answered many calls and greeted many guests who all wanted something or to speak to someone who wasn’t me. On one of the brief moments that the receptionist was around I asked her how I could find out this information- and she said “you just have to know”. I guess she was born knowing and I wasn’t. The frustration of not really having anything to do and nothing for me to learn and no way of being of use drove me to the men’s washroom, where I sat in a s stall and rolled toilet paper into tiny little balls and then dropped them into the water. Like the hours of my life, passing by.
But does matter if I sell my life doing something I perceive as useful to others or doing something stupid? I know that I get that little rush from helping people- but does it really make a difference in the world? I get paid either way. I managed to talk myself back to my desk which was good because soon the phone rang and it was an important call for someone I had never heard of and had no way of reaching.
The rest of the people at this job seem to spend most of their time walking around and talking. In the beginning I had no idea who anyone was. I’ve finished two weeks at this job now, and I’ve learned who most of the people are and I’ve also noticed that they move offices a lot.
Six cubicles have moved since I’ve been here. Grunty guys with drills and carts arrive and starting drilling pictures off the cubicle mounter board and loading stuff up. Then IT guys arrive and change around computers and phones. Generally they are moving just a couple of cubicles over. I’m not sure if it’s a make work project, for I can see no real reason for it, or if there’s really something to it. Anyway, I’m jealous of the grunty moving guys. At least they’re doling something and get to move around. Maybe I should put in for a move- I could go over to the vacant cube two cubicles over. I’d request it but no one will tell me how to do it. You just have to know.
I can’t bear to eat in the lunchroom. (Did I mention everyone seems to have one and a half hour lunches but me? I get half an hour) I’m too shy and I feel horrible at this job. So I have been walking around this neighbourhood for half an hour each day. On one side there is an older residential neighbourhood and I’ve been wandering through there. It’s kind of peaceful. But there are a few odd things there too. There’s a house where the front door is always propped open, and there are people shouting inside. Can you imagine shouting so much that you have to leave the door open? I think it must be an air pressure thing. Or maybe they leave the door open just so people will wander in and then they can shout at them?
Another house was having a religious figure yard sale. In the middle of the week. I suppose it wouldn’t be appropriate have it on Sunday. There were six Jesuses and (what is the correct plural of Jesus?) and four Marys. It made me think, are you allowed to have more than one Jesus on display at a time? It seems like you shouldn’t.
After my lunch walk I return to the office. After lunch is the time that the big women flock. There are about a dozen of them, very very big, sort of spaceship shaped, and after lunch they all gather together in one area like they are preparing to migrate. I have to make sure I’m not away from my cubical or I will get cut off – for they fill the hallway and door openings. It’s rather intimidating. They talk in low tones and never smile. In my idleness, I have fantasized that they kill and eat people, and that’s why there was a vacancy and that’s why I received no training and no real work. My job is to be food.
The final mystery is about the boss who hired me. She seemed like a very nice woman, and I have heard nice things about her. But she came and asked me if I believed in ghosts and I said yes and she asked if I had ever had any supernatural experiences and I said yes and then she got all freaked out and said we must never speak of this. Apparently she is terrified of ghosts. So the mystery to me is why did she bring it up if she never wanted to talk about it?
On my first day I was shown to my cubical and abandoned. Really. No one came to tell me what to do; I was assigned no jobs or training. Fortunately for me I am never bored so I began writing on the computer. Eventually, in the afternoon, someone noticed me and gave me some menial job which took twelve minutes. The whole first week was like that.
But I am a fool, you know. Perhaps I should have been happy with that. Isn’t that what I’ve always wanted, free time? But no, I was frustrated- I have this ridiculous need to be of use.
Well as it turned out I did not have to wait long for something to do. On Tuesday I was asked to fill in for the receptionist and do my job too- this is to be a regular thing. The receptionist, I think has some sort of terrific allergic disease- whenever she comes in to work it makes her ill and she must leave after an hour or two. I guess that’s okay with everyone. I don’t even mind because then I can sort mail, answer the phone and feel mildly useful.
On that first Thursday I almost quit. The only thing that kept me there was the idea of hunger and losing my house. While filling in for the receptionist, I answered many calls and greeted many guests who all wanted something or to speak to someone who wasn’t me. On one of the brief moments that the receptionist was around I asked her how I could find out this information- and she said “you just have to know”. I guess she was born knowing and I wasn’t. The frustration of not really having anything to do and nothing for me to learn and no way of being of use drove me to the men’s washroom, where I sat in a s stall and rolled toilet paper into tiny little balls and then dropped them into the water. Like the hours of my life, passing by.
But does matter if I sell my life doing something I perceive as useful to others or doing something stupid? I know that I get that little rush from helping people- but does it really make a difference in the world? I get paid either way. I managed to talk myself back to my desk which was good because soon the phone rang and it was an important call for someone I had never heard of and had no way of reaching.
The rest of the people at this job seem to spend most of their time walking around and talking. In the beginning I had no idea who anyone was. I’ve finished two weeks at this job now, and I’ve learned who most of the people are and I’ve also noticed that they move offices a lot.
Six cubicles have moved since I’ve been here. Grunty guys with drills and carts arrive and starting drilling pictures off the cubicle mounter board and loading stuff up. Then IT guys arrive and change around computers and phones. Generally they are moving just a couple of cubicles over. I’m not sure if it’s a make work project, for I can see no real reason for it, or if there’s really something to it. Anyway, I’m jealous of the grunty moving guys. At least they’re doling something and get to move around. Maybe I should put in for a move- I could go over to the vacant cube two cubicles over. I’d request it but no one will tell me how to do it. You just have to know.
I can’t bear to eat in the lunchroom. (Did I mention everyone seems to have one and a half hour lunches but me? I get half an hour) I’m too shy and I feel horrible at this job. So I have been walking around this neighbourhood for half an hour each day. On one side there is an older residential neighbourhood and I’ve been wandering through there. It’s kind of peaceful. But there are a few odd things there too. There’s a house where the front door is always propped open, and there are people shouting inside. Can you imagine shouting so much that you have to leave the door open? I think it must be an air pressure thing. Or maybe they leave the door open just so people will wander in and then they can shout at them?
Another house was having a religious figure yard sale. In the middle of the week. I suppose it wouldn’t be appropriate have it on Sunday. There were six Jesuses and (what is the correct plural of Jesus?) and four Marys. It made me think, are you allowed to have more than one Jesus on display at a time? It seems like you shouldn’t.
After my lunch walk I return to the office. After lunch is the time that the big women flock. There are about a dozen of them, very very big, sort of spaceship shaped, and after lunch they all gather together in one area like they are preparing to migrate. I have to make sure I’m not away from my cubical or I will get cut off – for they fill the hallway and door openings. It’s rather intimidating. They talk in low tones and never smile. In my idleness, I have fantasized that they kill and eat people, and that’s why there was a vacancy and that’s why I received no training and no real work. My job is to be food.
The final mystery is about the boss who hired me. She seemed like a very nice woman, and I have heard nice things about her. But she came and asked me if I believed in ghosts and I said yes and she asked if I had ever had any supernatural experiences and I said yes and then she got all freaked out and said we must never speak of this. Apparently she is terrified of ghosts. So the mystery to me is why did she bring it up if she never wanted to talk about it?
Total Comments 6
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 So many wierd things are happening in that place that I'm not sure what to say.But it's a job that you need right now. |
Posted June 25th, 2012 at 08:19 PM by MegaSilver
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Unbelievable
 I'm speechless |
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 09:20 PM by ZBeeblebrox
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Wow. I am speechless as well.
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 10:11 PM by Arch-vile
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Hang in there. You need this job for your kids. I'm sure they appreciate you and all that you do for them. I wish you luck with your new job, I hope things start to "normalize" soon.
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 11:38 PM by 'Scaper94
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There's the makings of a great novel in there somewhere. Hang in there and take lots of notes. Maybe, as you learn all the things you're just "supposed to know" you could assemble them into a new employees' brochure. That way you're helping people and showing initiative by creating something useful. Just a thought. Good luck with it and I'm glad you've got a job, even if it's uncomfortable at the moment.
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Posted June 26th, 2012 at 01:30 PM by Mossman
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I saw your most recent post about the storm before I saw this one and yet I have the same reaction. You should write some short stories and sell them. I had a image in my head of this story the whole time. It was an entertaining story (I feel bad for you though.) I would love to read more of these if you made anymore. Good luck with your real job though. Think about the short story thing .
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Posted July 11th, 2012 at 09:16 AM by buckeyefan837
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